Thursday, October 05, 2006

Mountain walk

As you walk up the mountain road, look up to the summit to remind yourself where you are going.Do not forget, however, to take each step at a time.
Do not become disheartened at the height you have to climb; each day will bring you closer.
Fellow travelers that you meet may share your path for a while but ultimately you climb alone.
Follow the path, for it is your guide. Do not be distracted by the pathways of others for they are theirs alone.
When tired, rest. Enjoy the moment and reflect on your progress. But do not confuse the progress you have made with the goal.
Enjoy the Vistas available to you at this moment in the climb but never forget tthat they are only part of the whole, at the summit only will you be able to understasnd the complete picture.
These views are only a benefit and not the undertaking itself. To reach the summit you must walk the path so rise again my friend, we have a long way to travel.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Not mine

"It's not my fucking fault!" i shouted
I realised at once i had made a mistake.
She wasn't rational then and my outburst only snapped the little holding her anger back.
She got up.
I ran.
I knew she was chasing me so i made for the back door.
Ready to go.
If i left now, i wouldn't return.
I could feel that.
So i took my punishment willingly.
And even agreed with her afterwards that it was my fault.
Its not my Fucking Fault!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Doorways

I have always been fascinated with doors.
They are part of a wall but open to a sepparate room. There is unlimited possibility behind a closed door... Anything could be ion there ... from cupboard to safe, washroom to office, corridor to street.
Our logic limits these doorways and memory cements their destination but when i was young i always felt that if you knew how to open them propperly whilst thinking of the place you want to go to...
The door would lead you there. Just open it and step through.

Rage-Craft

Imagine your anger as a flame
Imagine it burning inside you
keep it there, sealed in on all sides
breathe in the air it needs

let all the thoughts you have feed that flame
some1 pissed you off- use it, feed the flame
something strikes you as wrong, feed the flame

let that flame be your anger
and keep your mind clear
let the flame warm you
and drive your desire
let the flame guide you
and strike when needed

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Dark Rainbow - rough idea

Just to say Thank you Lil:)
I do not think I would have seen the Dark Rainbow if you had not have shown it to me.

Bowed there in the sky unseen but undeniably there.
It's beauty unparalleled, its power supreme.
It is the light that shines on all that is hidden, the energy that drives all that is unknown.
It guides the lost and blinds the sure.
We all live under it but most choose not to see; not to feel and understand.
It illuminates as much as light ever could but it goes unheeded, ignored, rejected as unreal.
Well, that is my Irreal. The sight and feel of that Dark Rainbow. May it shine as deeply as it can through me and fill me. Let it whisper to me as i walk through this mindscape.

Needs more thought ... more editing ..

Sunday, September 03, 2006

First post to explain what this page is ...
It is going to be an ongoing story/ collection of stories as they come out of my head .....

I realise that they will be foolish, ameturish and a laughable atempt but i am not doing this to produce great prose or the next blockbusting film/ book ... i am doing this to practice and learn ...... Something i have to tell myself many times to stop from becoming frustrated with my lack of skill ... You must learn to run before you can win races.

Conversations with the shadow

It stands there as i have pictured it. Dark, menacing, humming with violence yet to be released. I shivver with fear and realise that is what it wants.

It needs me to be scared, it needs me to feel less. And this one thought, this understanding strips away that fear. I know it could harm me but it is not so mindless as that. It has goals, desires, needs and if i can understand them, i can understand the beast.

Who are you to call me?
I am you, you are me we are one bu tsplit from each other.
You are not me! I am not you! i am fire, i am the storm, i am rage you have never seen nor will again once it hits. I am that which kills and that which creates.I drive and destroy and revel in all. I do what i want wnen i want and nothing can stop me...

Nothing but me
I am control. I am structure. I am the plan and the reason and the guide for your strength. Withoutme you are chaos, swirling in circles. without me you are nothing but a noise in the dark.

2
Next time i go down to the basement i am struck by how dark it is. It seems that shadow has decided to hide from me, perhaps trying to scare me again.
I call for him and he evenually walks out into the small pool of light spread from the staircase.
He is covered in some kind of ... mud? as he steps nearer i suddenly smell it and realise ..
Excrement! Blood! Semen! he has covered himself with all his excretia and let them dry ... for why?
I hold back my nausea and try not to look disgusted. He just laughs. He knows, again, how i feel and wants it!